The people I coach are smart people, experienced in life and work. Most of them have had more successes than failures in their life. Most of them are not on their uppers or in crisis or feeling lost. So why do they decide to use a coach like me?
The presenting issues are different for different people. For some, it’s a new work challenge. For others, it’s a broader life issue or an unmet opportunity. For some, it’s a crossroads of indecision. I find myself having lots of very different kinds of conversations about very different things. But there are two threads which are always the same; an unscratched itch and that the presenting issue is rarely the core issue.
People use a coach when they reach a sort of inner stuckness, a mental itch that won’t shift like a really irritating stone in your shoe. They have often tried other things first, tools or behaviours that worked well for them in the past. But the old tools don’t quite do it and the ‘itch’ won’t go away. That itch, and the failure of the old tools, often leaves people feeling a range of emotions about tackling the issue on top of the feelings they already had about the issue itself.
Part of the reason for this is because of the second thread, that the ‘problem’ is often not quite as it seems so the route forward often ends up being rather different than the first set of ‘to do’ solutions. We use coaches when the itch won’t go away, when we need a new window to see the wood for the trees and when we need a safe, encouraging place to look at the issue behind the issue.
Someone like you looks for a coach when the itch matters and you want to get unstuck. If this is you, try this…